A Distance of Life

长痛不如短痛，这一句 应该改为， 长乐不如短乐，虽然说 有点 ‘kik水’ 但是， 那绝对是对的~ 最近，发生了很多感情上的 problem 。 不过，都一一 solve 了。 其他人说，我这么做，不大好，只 能暂时 ，并 不可永远 ~ 其实，我很明白， 我这么做，是 有点残忍 ，可是都是为了要 顾全大局 ~ 一时的感情 ，是不能带着走一世... 一时的感情， 更不能带着走一时 ... 我 不想要一时的快乐 ... 我 不会 为了他而 不快乐 ， 我只会 因为他 而更 坚强 。 我会 好好 爱惜自己 ~

Lately, should say, since that day... I'm not sure how I feel... But I'm always thinking what shall I do... I'm thinking not to involve anymore problem about relationship... I'm not gonna date with anyone or got any relationship with someone until I totally forget him... Why? Nobody knows what happened when I saw him appeared in front of me... Everything and everyone around me could become nothing when he appears!!! I've been observe about this 'nature' for somedays... And I asked myself, could that just happened??... So? I'm building up the wall now to guard me... I'm trying to control myself and don't ever let it happen again... I just wanna be single but not alone... I wan freedom so I just wanna be myself... (I dun like always sms de actually... plus gt too much radioactive...) What I feel when I saw him with her? I'll totally mad... BUT!!! I told myself that~ Broke up with him make me lose nothing... Conclusion: I don't want to invol...

昨天，他跟我谈了些东西... 是我一直都很想和他谈，却又不想听的东西。 他恭喜我，做了他的新目标, 那一刻，我真得很想问他，你吃醋了吗？是乎没有... 我立刻反问他，他和她怎么了？他说，他不想和她在一起。 他说，不想伤害她。那我呢？我算什么？ 自从昨天开始，我更肯定，由他在，其他的，我都忘了。 我一直想他昨天所说的事。 我很想跟另一个他说，由他在，我根本就会忘我... 我疯了...

I thought i could forget you. But now, it become worse. I hate this feeling. You won't know how I feel. I really wanna slap you, for what? I dunno. Seeing you going near to her. What can I do? Faster date la you two. I wan die already. Just get away~ I dunno need how to I face you. She seems wanna date with you. Go and date! Or maybe you two already dating?! You liar. I hate that you lie me so much. Hate you! hz...

不是有了白马吗？还管他周围的气氛干嘛？ 我都说了忘记吧~ 自己却还在那傻...

"Once a decision is made with sound reasoning, the rest is hard work, determination and perseverance to seen it through to fruition." By Tan Sri Dato' Seri Lim Goh Tong~ I like this a lot. Very meaningful~

Let's say: "I'm alive!" Finally, I went home from Genting Highland. What a trip. It kinda testing my patience and how tough am I. Luckily I didn't vomit and sneeze much~ Yeah! About the trip, the first day was kinda interesting cause we have fun at outdoor Theme Park. Play many games including race car, Woo! Like it a lot~ And I saw a leng jai there... Wow! Really really leng jai~ My heart fly to there already... > The second day was used to wait, WAIT, and WAIT!! My God~ I almost waste half a day dunno doing what... Shopping at indoor without reason... Cuz we didn't buy the indoor ticket... Too bad for it... But its ok... At least the time had went away~ Talking about the way went there and way back to Ipoh, it really were a hard time... Keep wanna vomit like that... Haiz... Until now still feeling like that... That's the reason why I don't like to go Genting... But now... Whatever happened at there already past... Wee! Enjoy it much but not those ...

Oh man~ Why my lungs or lets say my nose so weak de?? Once in a cold place or near it then I'll keep sneeze and sneeze... Really don't like it... How am I going to work in an air-cond room? How am I going to go for a vacation at other country during winter? How am I go through the days at Genting Highland on Tuesday and Wednesday? My mum sure gonna nag me if I get sick again... +_+

Mum brought me went shopping today. Kinda tiring me. Long time no went shopping especially at Jusco. Phew. Bought jo a new pair of sport shoes and many foods. Woo... Nice! At there, I saw primary school that canteen uncle and aunty -- Uncle Jimmy and his wife. Saw many cute children at there. Saw one baby, really cute! Bought jo Sushi and ready to eat it as supper. Yay!

I dunno what's happening around him. I'm hating what he lied to me. I was poking his back with friends this morning. I can't stand for knowing nothing. I'm trying to control my curiousity. I'm trying to dun care how other ppl look at me. I'm going to hang out with friends. I'm going to fill my holidays with plans. I'm going to forget him.

I'm so sorry. I guess this is the only way. I don't want make anything goes longer then end up with disappointment. I'm still thinking about him. And it become nightmare yesterday night. I'm feeling it scary. So i guess i have to make everything clear in my mind first. I'm greedy. I gotta do what is best for me. And of cuz, for you. We can still be friends, right? I don't want anything unfair happened. It's worse if I thought you as him. So, a new relationship would not start until he get out of my mind. N of cuz, there's still some other reason too...

In my memories, there were thousands of you. I still remember there was once i'm missing you like crazy. And now, I realize that you are not the one who should appear in my mind. What you had left for me, were just horror dreams. There were two. I thought the first dream was the only one who haunted me and now, i knew it isn't. The second was much more different -- romantic, but full of scars. Today, I'm trying to search for your shadow. It goes further and further away from me. "Come back." I don't say that anymore. "Let it go." I won't think like that. Oh right, then I'll forget it. Once, If I remember the moment between you and me, I will smile in my heart and say to myself, you are to free.

Today, coco went for a surgery. I'm missing her now because she have to stay at the 'clinic' for one night. We went to visit her after school. She seem in pain. Poor Coco. Jeh jeh sek sek. Muaks! Hope can see her as fast as possible. Mum say she will become cuter after that. And of cuz, fatter too... ^^...

Today Miss Kok said a reason for why until now she haven't get married yet. She said, because no boys like their gf who are smarter than them. Miss Kok is smart. Right. She also said, girls wish their bf are smarter than them. Yeah, that's true! When i heard what she said, there were two person in my mind. First one - Is that a reason for why u wanna break up with me? Lolx. That is kinda small in possability. Second - Will he mind if my results were higher than him? Lolx, again. Maybe for that.

My phone got problem already. Can't sms with friends. Kinda bored. Wanna chat something with them also can't. Gonna spend money again -- to buy phone. I promise myself not to buy a new phone until after Form 5 but now, i can't do what i promised. Sorry mum.

I'm almost get into the success of forgeting him but damn! He sms me! (Ahem... Sorry to the one that read dis post... but i really do not know how to express my feelin except by using the word 'damn'...) Why was he doin that? I dun wan to get into his world... I'm trying that... So pls~ Stay away from me! U r getting into my mind too easily... And letting me down easily, too! I dun wanna bother how ur world is going on... And thats what u wan, too!

Lately... i dun have appetite to eat... I feel wanna vomit when the food is placed in front of me... Maybe is because i'm sick... From sore throat to flu... And cough... Wondering when fever will come... I hate to fall sick but i like to... I think i had lost my mind...

Yesterday was interesting! I went to a trip with St.John members. We went to visit an orphanage called Vision Home and also a full-of-history castle -- Kellie's castle. We went there by bus and i enjoyed to be a guide (i dunno what 'dao you' called in english > During the time at Vision Home, we sang, draw and play games together. I liked the singing session the most. Especially for the song "kukabula". Well... There was something i dislike -- Pn.Chan Kam Thye's attidude. It made me hate her a lot. I was trying to respect her and so i asked her for some opinion about the singing session. But she did some stupid reaction and called me to handle it all by myself. That was STUPID! I repeat... STUPID! I know it was rude if i think like that. But it is true! Luckily, i could handle it without her to direct me... What made me angrier was her want-to-show-off motion. She lead us but not with the heart to help us but show off. Arghh! It was better during the time w...

Wad is that?? Today saw something aint good at all... Well... It was quite a good thing if SHE answered it honestly... But hey!... She lied me... It made me feel sad but excited... I think it could be a good news for me... She DATE... Maybe i was wrong... I just opened and read her msg under curiousity... Feel a bit guilty but i don't know why i did that... Wondering when she start date with him... I understand that she wanted to keep it as a secret... Because it may not be a good thing for her... Okay... Sorry then... I still haven't tell her that i knew it already... It could make her burst! And i can't imagine what will happen if i tell her that... But i was hoping that she'll tell me the truth soon...