An apologize

I got nothing to say to myself...
I remember last time when i found someone fall in love to me... I'll avoid him...
But nearly, I found a friend got the feel to me...
I admit, I really got feel to him...
Therefore, I told him to wait me... He say he'll take it as a risk...
But after somedays, I realize I still haven't forget him...
I wanna tell that guy who was waiting me, you know what happened when I saw him??
Everything and everyone around me will be gone... And my mind just full of him...
I know is hard for me to forget him...
I'm sorry to tell you to wait me...
I decided not to start a new relationship or even any about it...
I won't take another relationship if I find myself haven't forget the old one...
Sorry to make you deeply in hurt...
You should have sometime to forget about it, at least, shorter than if you continue waiting me...
I know, it's cruel... But I never regret for it... Sometimes, something cruel maybe good...
I know I look very greedy in this case... I did what is good for me and don't care other people's feeling...
Well,
Maybe until now, you still don't know why I did it...